HealthyBea

Mentorships & Best Practices

I love mentorships. Official programs, mentoring, and being mentored. All of it. Think about it – they basically offer a free friend, consultant, and cheerleader who knows more about your line of work, religion, sport, etc. (depending on the topic in which you’re seeking support). For purposes of this post, though, I will lean towards business/career mentorships because that is the area in which my experience falls. 

Since my first job in 2017, I have been involved in 8 organised mentorship projects, 4 as a mentee, 4 as a mentor. These developed within numerous jobs, by being involved in New York City’s media world, from both my undergraduate and master’s degrees, and through a volunteer initiative in London.

A fundamental concept I learned from my very first mentor, at Scripps Networks in NYC, is the meaning of the simple acronym “KPI”. If you’re reading this, Patrick, thank you! It’s funny to think that there was ever a time I didn’t know what this everyday term meant, but we all have to start somewhere. One of my most recent mentors I was privileged to know during my time at Southampton, England, helped me realise that if I do one day want to move into tech, I don’t actually want to be a product manager (if you’re a product manager, please don’t take offense…you’re awesome, it’s just not a role for me). I appreciate you, Corinne! 

Throughout these relationships, I learned A LOT about how to get the most out of each experience, while building long-term friends and advocates. I will say, though, I imagine mentorships are a little bit like therapists in the sense that not everyone with which you “match” will ~vibe with you and what you need. The difficulty is that in many cases, this doesn’t really matter. Programs typically put a great amount of effort into connecting the best candidates, in terms of educational/professional experience, backgrounds, and goals. My perspective here is: you win some and you lose some, but it’s your job to make the most of every opportunity. You can learn something from EVERYONE, so dig a little deeper, keep your mind open, and try to be grateful for the time being invested in you. (*Of course if there are serious issues, that’s a different story, but I am not referencing those here).

Alrighty, all that said, let us jump into my tips and best practices for both mentors and mentees, as well as the benefits that I have personally gained from following them. 

TIPS & BEST PRACTICES

Mentor

• Attention: 
  • Remove Distractions: ESPECIALLY when you are speaking to your mentee virtually, close or ignore any of the apps, websites, notifications that may distract you throughout the whole discussion. Commit to the time you set aside for the individual and offer them the decency of your undivided attention. If you can’t give them that, reconsider whether or not you have the time to be a mentor. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s part of the gig.
  • Keep Notes: I prefer to keep a notebook set aside for my mentorship experiences so that I can write everything down, from small updates such as where my mentee is going on holiday to bigger life decisions like where she is applying to university. You think you’ll remember, but you probably won’t. And this way you’re able to track progress from the beginning of your relationship to the end. 
• Support: I believe a mentor’s most important job is to uplift, encourage, and support a mentee. GET EXCITED about their accomplishments, exclaim their success and talents, validate their feelings. One of my wonderful mentors highlighted my skills and strengths often. I didn’t realise how much I needed someone to “read me” as such, especially while experiencing waves of self-doubt as I was applying for jobs post-MBA. Identify your mentee’s strong suits and continue to remind him/her of them.
• Challenge: A mentor’s role is not always to align and agree with their mentee’s decisions and thought processes. You need to offer constructive criticism when it’s necessary. If you believe your mentee is thinking, acting, or planning in ways that are not advantageous to their goals, carefully reveal that insight. This is the best way you can show your support: a bit of perspective now to build them up later. 
• Consistency: Show up, man. Stick to your plans. Don’t be flakey. No one wants to feel forgotten, unimportant, or inconvenient. 

Mentee

• Research: Before your first session, ensure you’re putting the time and effort into gaining some background about your mentor. It’s fine to assume you’ll learn much more during the actual discussion, but this extra steps allows you to come prepared to ask productive questions and set realistic goals (i.e. ones relevant to your mentor’s experience). He/she is likely more senior than you, so you should take every opportunity to impress them. You never know how they can help you moving forward!
• Goals: It’s much easier for mentors and more productive for the mentorship journey to contemplate the goals in which you’d like your mentor to support you. This initiative helps shape each conversation and allows you both the ability to measure your progress. TAKE ADVANTAGE of your time with this successful person by gaining their expertise to assist you in meeting your objectives. 
• Prep: Please please please come to your meeting prepared with an agenda. As a mentee, I ALWAYS think through the topics I want to cover in the next meeting. That way I get the most out of the session and avoid wasting time on unrelated subjects. This act also leaves a good impression on your mentor and removes any prep work from their desk.  
• Respect: Remember that your mentor is likely taking time out of his busy day out of the goodness of his heart to support you. Be mindful of that time and do everything you can to make the experience seamless. Oftentimes this includes sending the invite, sharing an agenda before the meeting, and leading the conversation. Finally, thank them often and deeply. Make sure they know how much you recognise and appreciate their time and feedback. 

BENEFITS

Mentor

• Lessons: As I teased at the beginning of this post, I am a firm believer that regardless of age, experience, or background we can learn from anyone if only we take the time to not just listen, but hear what another has to say. This is no different from the perspective of a mentor-mentee relationship. From lessons in culture and daily habits to history and careers, you may be surprised by what your mentee can teach you! 
• Inspiration: Inspiration can come in any form at any time, as long as you’re open to it. Arrive at your meetings with an attitude of growth and lightness to ensure you leave room for ways in which your mentee can introduce a new way of thinking or renewed excitement about a certain topic or life event. 
• Energy: Regardless of how you’re feeling walking into a session with your mentee, I promise that if you give that person your all, you WILL leave feeling a sense of refreshment and helpfulness. We all need to feel needed in some way. I am not saying you should lean on this person to make you feel a certain way. Absolutely not. But I am recommending that you take note of the ways in which your energy is recharged after a discussion IF you first supplied your mentee with an adequate amount of attention and vivacity during the conversion. 

Mentee

• Perspective: We tend to surround ourselves with people who are similar to us, and understandably so. It’s easier, more comfortable, and oftentimes more enjoyable. Though a mentor-mentee match typically requires some sort of similarity in character or experience, it may include two people from diverse walks of life. Take the time to absorb what your mentor has to say. You certainly do not need to agree with and enjoy everything that comes out of his mouth, but you should reflect on his approach to a topic, goal, or challenge you’re discussing. Who knows, it could greatly change how you think about important life decisions! 
• Career Advice: Ask questions! Lots of them! This is your time to gain as much information from someone with more experience than you as possible. Reflect on issues you’re facing and deliberate them with your mentor. They will appreciate the chance to consider their relevant experiences and support you in navigating similar situations.  
• New Connections: Don’t be afraid to ask your mentor if they are comfortable connecting you with someone in their circle. Don’t abuse this privilege and only ask if it’s relevant to the discussions you’ve been sharing. Once you do communicate with this new person, it is vital that you not only behave in a way that reflects positively upon your mentor, but also in a manner that doesn’t jeopardise the special relationship you have worked hard to cultivate with him.  
• Personal Growth: I do not advise you to use your mentor as a therapist, but you can feel comfortable opening up and sharing information on a more personal level than your boss, for example. I find that a degree of vulnerability allows us to build trust and grow closer to another, which then tends to expose new opportunities of growth. Your mentors are people, too, so you may be surprised by how much insight they have to share on a more personal (vs. business) level. 
• Encouragement: A good mentor, and I hope you are lucky enough to find one, should offer you an abundance of support and encouragement. They should help you navigate some of the intricacies and difficulties of life, while uplifting you along the way. You should leave a conversation feeling confident, optimistic, and excited about at least certain aspects of yourself and your particular scenario.

Please let me know if you have any questions about how to find mentorship programs and opportunities. In case you couldn’t tell by today’s ~essay, I believe we can all benefit GREATLY from them if approached with the proper consideration and care they deserve. 

Good luck!

Bea