HealthyBea

Rest Days After 10 Years

My second year at Uni (about 10 years ago) marks the beginning of my commitment to health. The year I learned how to weight lift, how to eat to fuel my body while enjoying occasional indulgences, how to feel good everyday. During this important time in my life, the strength of my resilience and dedication to most anything I set my mind was revealed to me. 

After a childhood of uncertainty and discomfort in myself, sophomore year of college demonstrated to me exactly who I was and what I was capable of accomplishing. I defined my values and determined how I wanted the world to view me…”My name is Bea and I work hard. I don’t take breaks. And I achieve my goals.”

Yes, there are tremendous benefits to this tenacity; I can’t imagine a more productive lifestyle, I am continuously working towards something, and I am typically satisfied mentally. However, my obsession with this feeling of pride in working hard and maintaining that image prevented me from taking any rest I needed – both physically and mentally. 

What if I took a rest day from the gym and as a result, felt slower mentally? Lethargic physically? Did I still “deserve” to enjoy my hearty bowl of oatmeal or paleo chocolate chip pancakes? What if a colleague asked if I worked out that morning and I was forced to admit that I hadn’t due to a rest day? What if they thought I was being lazy? Not upholding my reputation for daily movement? During my Apple Watch days, I’d worry that my friends comparing workouts would also believe I was letting myself go given ONE rest day amongst infinite days of burning 1,000+ active calories. 

During subsequent years since, I have indeed found more comfort in slowing down a few days each week, with either 1-2 days of full rest or less intense workouts. However, through travel days, a honeymoon, tests during my MBA, moves, late nights, and fluctuating moods, I cannot remember a period of time since sophomore year of college during which I allowed myself to enjoy numerous days in a row completely free from a workout. 

Until last week.

For about a month prior to last week, I had an ongoing pain down the back of my right leg. Not painful enough to stop me from daily activities, but definitely enough to think about all day. I was pushing through the discomfort during my workouts and after some time, I was starting to feel a bit insane for that decision. I was too scared to take time off – uncertain if it would negatively impact my mood, productivity, and of course, body. 

And then I decided that enough is enough. It was time for a real break. For 4 days, I didn’t plan my workout, didn’t lay out my exercise clothes the night prior, didn’t set my alarm to 5:20am. I told my husband so someone was in on my decision to offer support, but chose not to make such a big deal of it by sharing with others while experimenting with this scary decision which I had successfully avoided for years. I needed to do this for myself. I encouraged myself to enjoy it. Embrace the calm. Feel confident in consuming the same meals despite less movement. Not let it impact my productivity at work and around the house. 

And guess what? I was fine. I felt fine. My motivation didn’t oscillate, and my leg felt better. It’s still not perfect, but it helped. I didn’t jump for joy at the time off and my body did feel a little softer, but my workouts now feel better upon returning after rest. I am finding myself more excited to hit the gym and most importantly, I my expectations shifted ever so slightly. 

I no longer have to think or speak about the fact that I don’t take time off. Because I did and that is good. 

I no longer have to maintain this image of a machine that never stops. Because not only is NO ONE keeping tabs, but better yet, no one cares. 

My people only wish to see that I am doing what is best for my HEALTH. Not the definition of my left ab. And though I may not be the ideal example of always making decisions that are best for overall health, I am getting there one big (to me) step at a time. 

So, whether you’re the type of person who needs encouragement to do MORE or someone who, similar to me, could use support in doing LESS, just remember that the decision is YOURS. And that decision is what YOU have to live with. So, forget about expectations, forget about what others may think, and genuinely consider what your body and mind need. Because if you don’t have your own back, no one will. 

You got this, we got this! 

Much love,

Bea