HealthyBea

The Work Behind the Scenes

If you’ve read any of my other posts, you may have picked up on a phrase I occasionally use to describe myself: “try hard.” What do you think of these types of people? Annoying, unsuccessful, fake? The descriptor tends to carry a negative connotation colloquially. But should it? Does it need to? 

Society tends to praise those who are naturally gifted. There is something special about people who don’t need to study (because they can’t be bothered) and still ace a chemistry test. A sense of superiority offered to athletes who, after only a few initial lessons, already significantly outperform experienced peers. Greater attention given to those with outrageous IQs. Don’t misunderstand me! I am not saying these people don’t deserve a specific type of treatment. Their talents should be acknowledged to encourage them to become one of the “greats” who contribute to society markedly (e.g. our Einsteins of the world). They should feel a sense of pride in the qualities with which they’ve been granted.   

However, I firmly believe there should be general encouragement, or at least appreciation for those, like me, who aren’t clearly talented in a certain area. That’s not to say we don’t all have strengths, but they tend to be driven more by our interests rather than innate skills. Perhaps this feeling of inferiority standing next to an equally (or even less so) accomplished person who carries major brain power was something that I fabricated, devised on my own. However it stemmed, though, it was a feeling I gained during junior high school while studying ~too much for AP US History and still just sliding by with an A as my final mark. I was embarrassed and frustrated that my abilities could have prevented me from reaching my goals.

The feeling tends to arise now when comparing myself to someone naturally very slim without needing to exert much effort. I view the simplicity and ease of another’s habits and question my structured diet and strict workout routine. In a professional scenario, I tend to feel less successful than my colleagues after executing a presentation for which I needed to practice repeatedly behind the scenes. Ultimately, I am confident in my skills and abilities given the hard work I put into them. Occasionally, though, I allow my initial point about society praising simpler success and innate talent to cloud my judgment.

So, this article is for those similar to me who need a reminder that the effort we sneak in without people knowing is not shameful. If we really allow ourselves to believe that, then how can we find our personal and ultimate victory? How can we find peace? How can we find confidence? Instead, let’s reframe. Let’s be even more proud of ourselves than the naturally gifted understanding the comparative effort we need to put into our accomplishments. Let’s be honest about our labour, while careful to avoid seeking abundant praise or recognition.

And finally, let’s always remember that no one is better than us. Your neighbour might have flashier achievements earned without the hours of work you will need to reach something similar, but that knowledge shouldn’t impact your sense of worth or your goals. Be happy for them and then equally for yourself and for the life you have established and continue to build.

At the end of the day, we all need to focus on what makes us happy, peaceful, and triumphant in our unique way. If that involves putting in additional hours at the gym, studying harder for a test, or prepping longer for a presentation, embrace it! If not, appreciate the natural skills you are lucky to possess. For those like me, let’s aim to be examples of positive “try hards” who find similar or even greater success than our naturally abled peers. It’s time we reshape the perception of our habits in working hard behind the scenes from that of inferiority to pride.

We got this ❤ 

Much love,

Bea