HealthyBea

My Apple Watch Died

…and I am happy, no, thrilled about it. 

I have been habitually, well maybe obsessively is the more accurate adverb, wearing my Apple Watch for about 5 years. My little brother sold me his used one in perfect condition (thanks, Harris!) upon purchasing the newest version. I was most excited about the milage and step tracking functions, freedom to run around Central Park listening to downloaded music sans iPhone, and ability to stay on top of incoming notifications without picking up my phone. 

Like any other ambitious owner/user, I set my activity, stand, and exercise goals and committed myself to meeting them daily. I am sure that many can relate to sprinkling in sporadic arm movements throughout the day when stuck in a meeting or class to meet stand goals, and ending days walking in circles to close the activity ring. Of course, consistent workouts and regular movement throughout the day are necessary and healthy habits. They keep the heart pumping, mind active, and energy high. However, we all know that too much of a good thing has the capacity to wreak havoc. 

An additional Apple Watch feature is the ability to track one another’s activity. As a competitive person driven by the “productive” identity I have tattooed onto my personality, I needed to not only maintain my movement goals, but surpass them. Maybe even more insidious, I needed to make sure those looking at my activity were always impressed. Even on what was supposed to be a rest day, I couldn’t show “weakness.” I couldn’t let my peers move more than me. I was supposed to be the “best.” Sounds really healthy and safe, right?! 

My watch didn’t allow me to be satisfied with a tough morning workout and subsequent natural movement throughout the day. After one high activity day, I realised the number I was capable of hitting, and I wasn’t satisfied until I met that everyday from then on. Lunch and post-work strolls are a lovely idea and can be performed in a productive way under the right circumstances. You need to clear your head, stretch out your legs, get some fresh air. Wonderful! However, they can lead to harm when you ought to be resting, avoiding terrible weather, or getting home at a decent hour to accomplish chores before a reasonable bedtime hour. 

Even when my mind knew what I needed, I allowed my watch to trump rationality. And worse, I allowed a piece of technology to determine my worth. Was there a ring I couldn’t close due to elements out of my control? Worthless. You messed up. You’re lazy. Did I go above and beyond, and even double my activity ring? That’s right – are you amazing. You are successful.

You get the point – tracking devices are clearly not great for me. 

I am in no way suggesting that everyone does or will encounter these intrusive thoughts and damaging actions, but it is a risk some should consider before making the purchase. When people ask me if I recommend the watch, I quickly and firmly explain how detrimental to one’s health to which they have the capacity to contribute. I tried removing my watch on rest days so that I couldn’t track every movement and feel guilt when I wasn’t meeting my normal threshold. I discussed not wearing it altogether, but was scared by the idea. It felt too foreign, too intimidating after 5 years of dependency. 

And then something providential happened. I dropped it. Face down. On a wooden floor. Shattered…and yes, I am referring to the glass screen, not my heart. I picked it up, cleaned up the mess, and moved on with my day. As if I had broken a £7 mug from an easily replaceable Sainsbury’s set of 4. It’s been about a month since I’ve had a device tracking my every move and I feel a freedom I thought I was supposed to achieve by wearing one in the first place. I am not bothered by notifications, I am not tracking every movement, I am not structuring my life by obscure and unimportant numbers. 

Instead, I am committing to my normal workout and finishing when it’s complete, not when I have 13.5 more calories to burn to meet yesterday’s count. The length, frequency, and intensity of my movement during the remainder of my days are finally governed by what’s best for me mentally, physically, and socially. It’s less about what I have to do and more about what I get to do. And hey, now I get to wear the pretty bracelets I never thought paired aesthetically with the watch. 

My Apple Watch died and I will not be replacing it. 

Thank you for your attention, my dear readers. I hope this reflection on tracking devices allows you to step back and honestly examine whether or not they should play a role in your life. I hope that many cannot relate! I hope that the watch brings people support, convenience, and motivation. But for those with whom this resonates, be bold, be brave…and don’t wait for your watch to die before you tap into these characteristics. 😉

Wishing you all the best!

Bea ❤