HealthyBea

When Worry Stops Being Productive

I may not receive much support for this opinion, but I believe worry is a helpful emotion. That is, until it’s not. Hey! Remember, I am the author here, so I get to be contradictory when I want to be. Let me explain. 

I was thinking about this the night before my first day of the new job. My worries were keeping me awake while dwelling on the small ambiguous details I prefer having cemented in my daily routine. Is it okay to eat breakfast at my desk? What should I wear? Can I fit in my normal workouts during the week? Will I have a locker in which to store olive oil for the lunch salads I pack? Am I allowed to step outside for a quick walk around lunchtime? Am I planning to leave early enough for my commute? 

I let myself brood until it stole an hour of precious sleep. However, there was a bright side to these thoughts: I altered my planned outfit, remembered to throw a notebook in my work bag, and landed on the decision to eat breakfast in the morning before orientation (just in case they didn’t have a wholesome and filling option for my post-workout meal). Albeit a bit stifling, I did find some value in this seemingly “wasted” hour by running my day through my head.

But then I made an executive decision to stop my mind from fixating on the fears anymore. I thought to myself, “what would come would come and I am strong and smart enough to navigate any situation, good or bad.” I spent the last two years of my life drowning in concern. Can I afford to live in London post-MBA as I seek a job? Will new people make judgements about me when they see my tattoos? Will my then boyfriend, now fiancé’s parents accept and love me? 

You get the point. We all worry – that’s natural and an important part of life. It can help us plan ahead and engage adrenaline when we need it. But, my goal as of 2024 (which has been pretty successful so far if I do say so) is to gift myself with acceptance and limited stress. As with many goals, this sounds much simpler than reality, but it has allowed me to replace some concern with peace and dare I say…happiness! This mindset guided me as I completed one job, began another, learned to ski, (almost) finished planning a wedding, and conversed with many new people in intimidating environments. It’s currently allowing me to be bold at work, feel excited (versus stressed) about my upcoming wedding, and find comfort in very early mornings. 

So, here is my challenge for you. Next time you’re worried, question how necessary the feeling is in that particular situation. Can you change anything about the scenario? Will being stressed help you in any way? Is there anything left you could do to prepare for or fix whatever is causing this heaviness? If you answered “no” to each of these questions, perhaps take that as a sign to alter your internal dialogue. Accept that it’s okay to be worried, but it’s not okay to let that worry consume you. Think of something lighter, cheerful, more peaceful. Know that you’ve likely faced something similar and have gotten through it before, so you sure as hell can do so again (ideally better this time, but one step at a time 😀). 

Together, let’s identify when our worry stops being productive. Let’s admit our fear, offer ourselves grace, and move on. Life is too special to allow our distress to dilute our joys. 

You got this, we got this ❤

Bea