Rest, Reflect, & Relinquish
Life is crazy. We’re all constantly moving at 100mph. We’re quick to judge, quick to anger, and quick to burnout. Now, in case you hadn’t noticed, I am guilty of thriving off of “the grind.” I find so much satisfaction in productivity and working my butt off. But what I often forget, as I am sure a few others are guilty of as well, is finding time to rest your body and mind, reflect on your decisions, and relinquish unnecessary stress and indignation.
I’ll admit that I am not great at resting, but I do think I have some success with reflection and relinquishing. So, here are some tips that I am currently using to improve and grow.
Rest: Because this one is more difficult for me, I try to think about how much better my mind will operate in the morning, body will move during my next workout, and emotions will regulate amongst any upset thrown at me. Here are some activities in which I partake when rest is my priority!
- Bake some healthy for the body or healthy for the soul cookies
- Plan some fun simple or involved dinner recipes for the week with inspo
- Read a book or listen to a podcast (recommendations in my “Exercise Your Brain” post)
- Start a feelgood TV show, such as Gilmore Girls, or a more serious one, like Peaky Blinders
- Watch a chick flick, obviously Legally Blonde, or psychological drama, Whiplash
- Concentrate on the lyrics and story behind a full album, perhaps Twelve Carat Toothache or III
- Take a fat nap (Which just means a really satisfying, long nap. Though, it doesn’t need to be long. I love a good 30 minute power nap. My family might not agree, but I am going to still consider it fat because it’s energising…okay moving on)
- Light a candle and write. Something, anything! A journal entry, a poem, and little story, a letter to your brother who just entered into the seminary (real story)
- Call your mom, or sister, or friend, or nephew
- Do something artsy (which you’ll never catch me achieving), such as painting, photography, or knitting
Reflect:
How can we expect to improve ourselves if we don’t take the time to consider how to improve…? Hear me out. How many times have you seriously messed up and then repeated the mistake? How often do you repeatedly react in such a manner that elicits a negative response from others? Do you even realise these perpetual misdoings? Yes, I realise this is beginning to sound like a Catholic confessional, but it’s not too far off. In fact, it’s very similar. Whether you believe in faith and this “examination of conscience” practice, it’s still incredibly relevant and important!
However, my reflection recommendation is not always about the action you took, but instead how someone else’s decision impacted you. Perhaps your friend continues to offer you critical advice for which you did not ask and do not appreciate. Maybe your boss asks personal questions, which are completely appropriate, but you’re not particularly comfortable answering. These are moments worth reflecting upon!
Importantly, though, is what you do with this information. How you use it to make situations better next time. As we will dive into in this next section, it would be pointless to reflect and then simply allow these regrets or annoyances to fester. That is certainly not the point. Remember my post about being brave? Nope? Well that’s because I haven’t launched it just yet, but it’s coming! You’re not crazy. But I digress…
No, the point is to translate your feelings into progress. For example, here are some action steps to consider in regard to the questions I asked above:
- Scenario A:
- Question: How many times have you seriously messed up and then repeated the mistake?
- Action: I know it’s easier said than done, but try to quickly audit your next move or comment. Think about your audience and the situation. Have that uneasy feeling in your gut that you’ve felt before? Lean on it, and use it to take a beat and consider an alternative decision.
- Scenario B:
- Question: How often do you repeatedly react in such a manner that elicits a negative response from others?
- Action: Unless it’s very obvious, ask your peer what it is exactly that you did to upset them. Then ask them if you changed your behaviour in a certain way, such as refraining from asking about personal matters in front of new people, would make them happier. If so, you know what not to discuss publicly next time!
- Scenario C:
- Question: Does your friend continue to offer you critical advice for which you did not ask and do not appreciate?
- Action: Politely explain that you’d prefer to receive such feedback only if you specifically ask for feedback.
- Scenario D:
- Question: Does your boss ask personal questions, which are completely appropriate, but you’re not particularly comfortable answering?
- Action: Let your boss know that you’re a very private person, and prefer to keep work and personal life separate. It might be a little awkward, but it’s completely valid and your feelings should be valued. If they aren’t, maybe recommend my blog to them 😉
Relinquish:
Ahhhh doesn’t this verb just make you feel more peaceful and joyful? It’s an ideal for me that I constantly try to achieve. At one point I reached the (oh so wise) conclusion that there are enough things one actually needs to worry about, and can control, that it’s not worth it to dwell on those uncontrollable. This applies to pent-up anger, sadness, stress, worry. Now this doesn’t mean I have mastered the practice. No no no – not in any way. But I try by reminding myself of this as often as needed (sometimes 15x a day) to build the ability.
There are similar activities mentioned in the “rest” section that you can practise to support your surrender. Go for a workout, take a walk, write it down, call your mom or bestie, blast some emotional music, cry, yell, complain. Whatever you need to do initially to then let.it.go. Together, let’s focus our attention on what we can control, and relinquish our emotion on what we cannot. Here it to a more peaceful life!
You got this,
Bea
HealthyBea 
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